Everything’s changing and it’s scary

2021.09.26 05:08 tdgiabao Everything’s changing and it’s scary

[Is it a bad thing that I had posted this on two other subreddits?]
I should state a bit of my background. I'm a Vietnamese male (25 years old). I'm gay (or bi, I don't know, I'm still figuring it out). I've been working as a part-time English teacher for 3 years now. I'm finishing graduate school later this year.
3 years ago, after a failed job interview for a teaching position at this language center where I had worked as a teaching assistant before, I've developed a fear for job interviews. I did get a teaching position at another language center (not as good and only a part-time one).
I delayed finding a full time job by going to graduate school (which sounds reasonable enough).
And it's ending, I'm doing my last two units next month and then I'm out.
The thought of going back to my apartment in a big city at night without having school to look forward to the next day has been haunting me. I met a lot of people there so I've been feeling less lonely than before. Now it's just... me.
The thought of going to job interviews for teaching positions at universities and waiting for the results has been haunting me. My friends all have managed to get some during their time in grad school. I didn't even try. All this time I've been teeling myself that I wanted to just focus on school before getting another job. It was just me avoiding responsibilities.
And then the pandemic came, the language center where I'm working does not allow online teaching. I've been earning nothing for months. My parents have been paying for my grad school and I just feel so guilty. Last year I did earn a small proportion to chip in but still. The pressure to find another job with the pandemic still out there has been haunting me.
And since the virus breakout in my country in May, I haven't been meeting my friends. We've been chatting on Facebook but I still miss them. The classmates at grad school are great but they sometimes talk a lot about teaching jobs and grades, which stresses the hell out of me. The assignments at grad school do not help. They take a lot of time to do and I've been sitting still in my apartment for months to write them while not earning any money. It's been a nightmare.
And I've recently started to play this online video game with a boy back in college. We never really talked before when we were in undergrad school. And now I have a huge crush on him. He's also a language teacher and he's been teaching online and earning a lot more than me. It's too soon to tell him how I feel as I don't want to risk our friendship (he's gay too). But I have all these insecurities whenever I meet someone I like. I always think that I'm not good enough for them and I'm scared that they're gonna stop talking to me one day because they think I'm a loser. I've confessed my feelings to some boys before and they didn't reciprocate, which has also contributed to this inferiority issue.
My parents forced me to come out earlier last year just before grad school. My mother went into depression because of that (she had that before). She didn't want me to have a boyfriend, which is fine because I've never been in a relationship and doesn't intend to have one. She eventually told me to go find a boyfriend if I want but I've been holding out on it since I didn't want to upset her.
And now I have these feelings for this boy and I can't tell him. Even if I told him and he reciprocated (which is unlikely), I would risk upsetting my parents.
I'm sorry if this is too long and too much to read and comprehend. I just feel too overwhelmed. I don't know anyone to talk to about these issues, you know, being a 25 year old male in an Asian country.
I want to feel better tomorrow when I wake up. I just don't know how.
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2021.09.26 05:08 Dumbcoont69 How do you find happiness amidst your darkest moments?

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2021.09.26 05:08 MeesterJefff three flourescent shop light fixtures

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2021.09.26 05:08 DLX_Beast57 And where in Mississippi

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2021.09.26 05:08 MarcieNox Nuka Cola bottle cap pins

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2021.09.26 05:08 Memesmakemememe I thought I told you to leave me, while I walked down to the beach

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2021.09.26 05:08 Wolffire201 extra codes

hey anyone who is reading this i am looking for a wildcat and/or fleet force bundle codes because i have been looking for a year all over australia for codes and so far nothing and i am just wondering if anyone has any spare codes for this but any code for anything would be fine but i preferably would like the wildcat and/or fleet force items if you could spare me one this would make my absolute day
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2021.09.26 05:08 MinimumElk Yarn bomb in Culver, appealing to our love of Keanu to encourage vaccinations.

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2021.09.26 05:08 swzorrilla not a single sip of beer?

Hello all,
not long ago the doctor told me I had high uric acid levels and told me about the purine content and all that… So now I just ask myself, is drinking a single beer bad at all?
If I have eaten well from now on and have changed my diet, would a single beer a week matter that much? Also I’m not really considering some fish as I think it’s benefits like minerals and Omega 3 beat the purine content in health content
I have never had a gout symptom as far as I can tell but who knows. How do you guys manage your beer consumption? Is really only one beer asking for trouble? Thank you!
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2021.09.26 05:08 haber-trend Sıcak! | Çevik kuvvet ekiplerine arama kurtarma eğitimi verildi #AramaKurtarma #AfetveAcilDurumYönetimiBaşkanlığı #Bolu #Adıyaman son saatin en çok aranan 12. trend haberi oldu ve an itibarıyla 4 gazetede yer alıyor.

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2021.09.26 05:08 WizardNipples69 What is the hardest negative experience you have turned into a positive one?

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2021.09.26 05:08 AttemptKitchen Can they stop making failure mobile games and actually make a real sequel for PC?

There is like 3 games called Dragon Nest 2 already for mobile which all failed miserably, I think is already enough after so many failed projects... they have already tried a lot of times to make this title work with the mobile market but it doesn't, is about time to start developing the real deal in PC.
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2021.09.26 05:08 trover2345325 Leaked scans for the upcoming zenkaiger weapon Zenkai Cannon ,upcoming mecha Zenryoku Eagle,new enemy Hakaizer and foreshadow of Flints sentai form in upcoming episodes?

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2021.09.26 05:08 IllCriticism3614 💩 Mini Poop 💩 - Stealth Launched - Low MCAP - x1000 incoming - Doxxed dev - Clean chat - Bullish chart - Real poop

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2021.09.26 05:08 petefre01 How to finalize yahoo league with uneven players?

Hi
First of all sorry if this has been asked before.
We had a league of 14. Then two others wanted to play. Our draft is today but someone just dropped out making it 15 teams. Just went to finalize teams for our draft but yahoo won't allow as there is a red cross next to "even teams". We are fine with having a bye, so why can't we just finalize the teams?! Is there an option to bypass this so we can play with 15? If not, will probably have to ask someone if they don't want to play?
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2021.09.26 05:08 genevieveoliver Olly Bean

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2021.09.26 05:08 L1quidM3tal Tweets that don’t age well for $1000 Alex…

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2021.09.26 05:08 prawnbiryani 💗☁🍦🌸🧁🤍🦩

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2021.09.26 05:08 yeffirmations ✨ I am SO different that they CANNOT define me! 💎 I am POWERFUL! ⛷ (From Instagram @yeffirmations)

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2021.09.26 05:08 Stopfuckingrepost How do i remove this thing connect to my HDD connect to motherboard so i can remove the back of my laptop on Acer ES 14

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2021.09.26 05:08 ChaoticNichole If you need help... here is some.

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2021.09.26 05:08 tenaciousp42 Life of Paul (1965)

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2021.09.26 05:08 Icy_Needleworker713 Any alternatives for mobile?

I really want to play space engine but all i have is an xbox and the phone i'm using to post this right now,if there's a mobile version or alternative tell me
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2021.09.26 05:08 Zealousideal-Show104 Mephiston magnetized "wings of sanguinius" diorama. C+c most welcome.

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2021.09.26 05:08 mossxnorth Question about Military Discount in Canada!!

Hi all! I have a quick question about the military discount in Canada - my partner works for DND and has a CFOne card. Would that work for the discount? Has anyone had any issues using it? TIA!
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